The Scripted Life

The Scripted Life 

It was a crowded place 

Almost everyone seemed to be talking, coughing, sneezing or in pain. I too let out a sneeze. My mother immediately wiped my face and nose and took me nearer. I dug my face into her lap. 

Suddenly there was a hush and I saw people getting up. I too got up on my feet and sneezed again. 

A tall man with a long white coat and a black pipe around his neck looked down while passing by and kept his hand on my head. I touched his white coat. 

Soft, pure, and magical. 

I asked my mother “ Who is he?” She said he is a big Doctor. He will stop you from sneezing 

As a little girl, I could imagine the power in his hands. 

“The Power of Healing” 

I looked at the queue in front and behind me. It seemed endless on either side. My mother asked, “ Are you hungry”. I nodded. She fished out a Parle G biscuit, and I devoured it with a few sneezes in between. I peeped into the doctor’s room as the door was completely ajar. He was nodding, taking the black rope and keeping it on the patient’s back, and touching people’s shoulders. I asked “ Mummy when will he eat?”  My mother said “ Doctors don’t eat lunch” 

I moved several inches forward and now I could hear his soft voice as well. 

I wished to become him. 

Years later, I was hospitalized with a fever they called viral. It seemed like half my colony was admitted there. Due to the rush, I was given a bed in the corridor, which I didn’t mind—I could watch the doctors and nurses in white coats bustling around.

One of the doctors stopped to check on me. Without thinking, I asked, “Did you have lunch?” He looked surprised but smiled and replied, “Yes, I did.”

At that moment, I realized—that doctors are planners. 

Years later I adorned what I dreamt. I attained that place because I dreamt of being a lifesaver. For decades I have done what I wished to and every smile, every thank you and every life saved makes me proud of my decision 

Many a time I have been ridiculed for spending more time at work and not spending time with myself. I am often given a small sermon on what’s very popular now “ Work life balance”. I have earnestly listened and found myself unable to make any changes in the predetermined routine. 

I am not alone in this. Almost all of my medical colleagues share this same paradox. 

Yet, the majority of us are very happy!!

We continue to sway on the work side of the pendulum and embrace life with happiness and pride. 

The other day, I went to watch a movie. The cast was awesome and the trailer was promising. As I continued to eat the caramel popcorn I waited and waited for the movie to have a purpose or a feel. As I looked inside the box to fetch the last one and looked up. The movie ended. 

I realized the script was the weak link. The cast, location, music everything was brilliant. 

But the script had failed. 

As we all streamed out of the theatre, my friend asked “How was it?  I replied “ The Caramel could have been more in the popcorn”

She smirked. 

I realised that a doctor’s life is the exact opposite of an unscripted movie. Our life has a clear and purposeful script that gives it meaning. I am back to my life which I love and ignore the work-life balance! 

Because in this story, the setting, the cast, the music, and the soundtrack keep changing but the script - my calling, remains solid and with a purpose. 

My life is scripted, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.